Human

Today marks the two weeks that I've been here. They have been two of the best weeks of my life so far. The safari was pretty wild. I saw Lions, Hippos, Zebras (favorite), Hyenas, Giraffes, Crocodiles, Vultures, Impallas, Antelopes, Rhinos, Wildebeasts, Buffalos, Cheetahs, Leopards, and more that I'm probably forgetting. Lions and all of the other animals were only inches away from me. I also got a lot of good things on video like Vultures eating a dead Wildebeast (I don't know if that's the correct spelling), and I also got a lot of good pictures. I wish I would have invested in a better camera though because my shots weren't that good in comparison to others but I'll still remember the animals and land clearly. The safari also gave me a lot of time for meditation, which was a good thing because it allowed me to work a lot of things out. I finally figured out the thing that Africa is teaching me. It's really teaching me how to be human again. For the past couple of years I've tried to be anything but that. I've tried to not feel anything, and I've also tried to not care about a lot of things. Being here is teaching me how to feel more and embrace what and who I am, which is allowing me to become a better person. I'm also learning to appreciate my friends and family more as well. I always thought of myself as someone who never took anything for granted, but after a lot of thought I've realized that most of my past actions only point to that. I'm excited to go home and hopefully be able to really live life and help others see the beauty in it if they don't. I'm excited to wake up earlier at home and make most days productive ones. I'm also excited for school. I've seen a lot during these past two weeks, I've seen both extreme poverty and extreme wealth. Aside from all of that soul searching, I've been playing a lot of football with the local kids, who are amazing, and I've been becoming more comfortable with Kenya and it's becoming more comfortable with me as well. I haven't eaten much during the past couple of days because I got sick on the safari, but I'm feeling a lot better. I was going to go to the beach in Mombasa this weekend but I feel like if I go there and Uganda, I'll be killing my cash flow too much so I'm going to cross that off of my list of things to do. I'm all over the place in this blog but I'm just going to write whatever comes to mind. It can either be really hot here or really cold since it's winter but I'm fine with that. I actually like the weather a lot here. I'm getting a suit made in a couple of days for only about 37 dollars which is an amazing price, and I'm sure it will be good quality. I think I'm going to go back to the Yaya Masai Market this Sunday since I'm going to Uganda the Sunday after the one coming up, and I'll be leaving the Sunday after that. I plan to go bungee jumping while I'm in Uganda which will be crazy. Something about this place that makes me happy is that all of the kids know about Obama here. One kid in the street even called me Obama which was new since I usually get Ronaldinho or Ronaldo. I have to go back to the orphanage soon. Peace

Yaya

I've done a good amount of things during the past couple of days. I went to different animal orphanages on Saturday which was amazing. First we went to an elephant orphanage which was pretty good. The elephants were pretty chill and I saw them get fed basically from huge baby bottles full of milk. A baby rhino came out at the end which was pretty cool too and he or she started to charge at everyone. After that we went to a giraffe orphanage which was amazing. You walk up on some high platform and you can feed the giraffes. I kissed one a couple of times and kept petting them. I have videos and pictures that I'll post when I get home since I don't want to accidentally break my mom's camera by connecting it to a cheap Kenyan computer. I saw so many cool souvenirs at the giraffe orphanage but they were so expensive so I told myself I would wait until I went to the Massai Market. After the giraffe orphanage we went to a couple of other little places for people to eat then we went to MONKEY PARK! That was one of the coolest places I have ever been to in my life. Once you get out of the car, little monkeys start chasing you and jumping all over you. That's just the parking lot. When you get to the actual monkey park you see dozens of little monkeys running around right in front of you. Some attacked me when I started waving peanuts in front of their faces and I also managed to get a lot of them to jump all over my head and back. I really can't wait to show people the videos and pictures. After monkey park about six of us went out to some restaurant called Max Land and after an hour of waiting we got a big tray of chicken, tomatos, goat, and chips (french fries). The whole day was great and only cost 31$. I wish the next day was the same. Yesterday my friend Callum and I went to the Massai Market at Yaya. The Massai Market is a huge market that has thousands of souvenirs for people to buy. All of the sellers there try to get you to buy their things and they usually rip you off, but I was prepared. It reminded of the Jamaican craft markets that I used to go to whenever I went to Jamaica, except these Kenyans were ten times fiercer than the Jamaicans. I brought a lot of caps that said New York on them and click pens to trade and I was successful. I bargained down a painting from 4000 kes to 700 and that's basically how my whole day there was. I was probably the toughest bargainer in there and I walked out with a lot of nice paintings, sculptures, shirts, and bags for about 71$. Not too bad but I don't plan on killing my cash flow anymore.

T.I.A.

I don't really know where to start on this one. I'm currently in a cyber in Kawangare-- one of the major slums of Kenya. I can take as much time as I want on it thought because it only costs 1 bob, .13 cents, a minute. I'll be brief about the flight or sleeping in the airport terminal like Tom Hanks because those experiences pale in comparison to my time actually in the country so far. The plane ride to Qatar was amazing. I felt like I was in first class and the twelve hours went by quickly. Qatar was hot, about 110 degrees. I wandered around the airport for a while and slept on random couches. Done. The flight to Kenya was okay. That plane was a regular one and this Chinese guy chatted me up a bit about China and what not. When I first arrived in Kenya I noticed that a lot of it looked like Jamaica but I soon realized that it's nothing like it. I feel accepted when I'm in Jamaica, but here I am a Mzungu. Mzunug's denotation means English-speaking, but it's connotation essentially means white person. At first it seemed like a lot of people didn't like outsiders, but many were just intimidated. I'm not saying that there aren't those who hate outsiders, but most of the people feel inferior. It's the colonial oppression running through their veins that might not ever bleed out. Some people won't look you in the eye, some look at the ground, some don't speak, and everyone stares. I can't walk down the street without literally hearing Mzungu after every person I pass. I'm fine with it though. People always label others by what is easiest to see: "Look at that white girl Mary," or "I sit next to some black girl." At first I wanted to be accepted, but I soon realized that that would be an insult to Kenyans and all of the other African people around the world. My skin color doesn't enable me to become a part of every other black person's culture. I don't know Kenyans struggle, I don't know their country, and I certainly don't know what it means to be Kenyan. People aren't skin deep. I've already done and seen a lot of crazy things here. When I got picked up at the airport I went over to my temporary house that is owned by a woman named Mama Lydia. She was cool and her house was realy nice, running water and everything. I met other volunteers, some new some old, and we all got to know each other. I now have a lot of friends from England, Canada, and Australia. We went out to a bar that night and had some beer. I met a guy there who was the promotional manager of my favorite Kenyan beer- Tusker. He kept buying me beer and other guys were too. I became friendly with a lot of them and due to the fact that I learned a little Swahili, far more than the other volunteers, they felt more comfortable with me. Due to the fact that I separated myself from the other volunteers, the promotional manager, Oyaya, and I were able to talk about personal things. We spoke about race, America, Kenya, Africa, tribes, racism, life, love, and a lot of other things. We agreed on a lot. He said that if he was white, he would be the whitest. That's one of the things that has stuck with me throughout the trip. What he said means that you basically have to do the best that you can in life to the fullest extent. He gave me his numbers, work and mobile, and told me to call him for more beer and conversation. He also told me that he would drive me around Kenya for free and I told him that would be good. I know it sounds dumb but I'm good at feeling people out. I would definitely bring someone with me though if he ever called me. I'm not here to get drunk and act stupid every night but a relief is good once in a while. The next day I went to orientation and that was good. I learned useful things like how to not get mugged. After that I went to my permanent house. I met the host family and they were pretty nice. I also met Callum. With the words "Fancy going out tonight?" I knew that some crazy stuff was going to go down. We got picked up by a taxi and in it were other volunteers Callum knew from his temporary house. We went to a club and once we got in and paid we saw a pole dancer. I didn't really know we were going to a strip club. The pole dancer was okay but sort of turned me on. I don't like seeing women do those type of degrading things. Once we sat down and ordered some drinks a prostitute started to kiss me. I didn't want to be rude but I also didn't want any of what she had you know. I got her off of me and I started to dance with this girl who was dancing in front of a mirror for ten minutes by herself. She was nice and put up with my random intrusion. After a while a lot more prostitutes came up to us and were really forward. I messed with them for a little bit, not physically just said funny things to them, and then followed my Callum and others to the smoking room. I don't smoke at all so it was a little nasty being in there but it was fun. A lot of stuff happened with the prostitutes in the club that night, I assure you nothing physical, but some rude things were said that I would rather not write here. After the club we went back to the house and it was 5am. The door was locked. It took a while for our host Oliver to get there but it was okay. The next day he had a talk with us and it was all good. I ate eggs for the first time in my life. They were good so I think I'm an egg eater now. Last night Callum and I went out to see Harry potter, which sucked, and when we got back at 12:30 no one was answering the door. We banged and banged on the door but still no answer. After a while we thought that they were not home so we tried getting a taxi to where we thougth they were. None were stopping so we decided to walk. Not a smart move at all because it was pitch black and we were in an extremely dangerous slum. I grabbed a rock in order to defend myself if it came to that, but then I decided not to walk and just wait for them. Cops drove by and stopped and spoke to us. I saw one step out with a huge AK47 but it was fine. They brought us upstairs and after a while of banging and flashlight shining people inside the house came out. They're just heavy sleepers I guess, or maybe they wanted to teach us a lesson. Anyway, I should probably talk about the most important part of my journey so far. I volunteer at an orphanage called the Agape Hope Center. My host family runs it. Once I got there the red dirt on the ground began to make my nostrils burn. All of the children came up to us and said "Habari Gani!" Most of them started to grab our hands and ask for hugs. After a while of messing around I took a football out and we started to kick it around. The older kids were kicking it with me and I asked how old they were. They said 12 and 13 but I didn't believe it because they were all about 4 feet tall. I asked one of the head people if they were really all around 12 and 13 and he said yes. I asked him white they were so small and he said because of malnutrition. I honestly wanted to cry. He realized how bad I felt with my faint reply of "Oh," and he said "Yeah, now you get it don't you." He shook his head and said it in a way that made me realize he thought I was ignorant to the troubles of the world. I partially am, but I'm making progress. Not all of the kids are orphans. Some have one parent, both, or none. Regardless of this they can't be taken care of at home. They either play with rocks and nail, do funny hand gestures, or play with things as basic as a little string tied to a wooden post. My eyes open to real struggle when I compare their seemingly basic sources of pleasure to the jungle gyms and playground of my youth. They are all so energetic and full of life. I'm not here to be their saviour though, I can't be. Whenever they start to cry the other volunteers grab them and try to console them but I don't. They have to learn that no one else can give them what they truly need. They have to liberate themselves and become their own sources of motivation in order to have better lives. Lives not full of disease and neglect. What I am here for is to make them realize that life isn't about just living, but that it is about living happily regardless of your situation. This boy, Antony, has all of the potential in the world to become a good football player. Once we gave him the ball he began to touch it like he was born with it attached to his foot. We taught him how to rainbow in literally three minutes. It's kids like these that make me want to be the best person that I can possibly be. All of them speak at least three or more langauges like most people in Kenya: Swahili, English, and their own tribal language. These Kenyan people that I see all of the time are content with who they are and most of them know the joy of life. I saw a man who had a perfectly good leg with a backwards foot. His foot was totally backwards but he didn't have any scars so I guess he was born that way. It's people like that that make me give them honor instead of pity. Pity leads to more poverty, not progress. There's a saying that a lot of the Mzungus say here. Whenever anything isn't that clean or doesn't go right they say "T.I.A." which stands for "This is Africa." I say it everywhere I go because everywhere hold more knowledge and beauty than I have encountered anywhere else so far in my life. " T.I.A.

4.5 Hours

I just finished up packing all of my last minute things. I takeoff from JFK in 4.5 hours, and I'll be heading to Qatar. I think that I'll definitely have jet lag because my flight from JFK is 11:30 pm and I'll be getting there 12.5 hours later, BUT Qatar is 7 hours ahead so I'll be getting there at 7 pm. My whole sleeping schedule is going to be messed up. I'm pretty excited though. I have a lot of books and what not in my carry on and I'll just spend majority of my flight either reading, listening to music, or trying to gain entry into the oh so prestigious mile high club. I'm excited. I have a feeling that this month is going to go by really fast and be one of the best months of my life. I don't know how I'll be able to leave my future Kenyan wife, but I guess all good things come to an end eventually. I'm going to be in Qatar for 13 hours, and since I won't be bringing my laptop it might be difficult for me to get onto a computer. If I can get onto a computer I'll holla and write about the 12 hour flight and hopefully interesting 13 hour layover in the Middle East or I'll just blog it up once I get to Kenya.

The Night Before Takeoff

I started this blog to document a lot of the public, and even some of the personal, things that I will experience in Kenya. This blog won't always be grammatically correct nor will it contain proper punctuation in all of my hopefully unpretentious posts. I want this blog to be raw to the fullest extent. An open wound, endlessly flowing with red life. One of the main reasons I decided to go to Kenya is because I want to be able to live again. Not in the sense of a rhythmically beating heart, but living in these sense of being closer to both the inhabitants of the reality that I live in, and the reality itself. During the past few years of my life I have distanced myself from the world that I live in, and I even came to believe that I found solace in that distance. I've done a lot of introspective thinking during these past couple of months. Maybe it has been due to the fact that I have so much free time on my hands since I'm on summer break, or maybe I'm just finally growing up. Don't get my use of the phrase "growing up" mixed with common perception that accompanies it, which I consider to be "growing out." I believe that growing up is when we reach vertical milestones in our lives. Experiences or discoveries that allow us to move upward in our lives, and consciousness of the world, that also allows us to help others' consciousness grow upward as well. On the other hand, I consider "growing out" to consist of spreading our current knowledge and current emotions horizontally that only really affect one singular plane of our existence: getting a job, getting a girlfriend -- acquiring more responsibilities that contribute to our overall consciousness of the world we live in inconsequentially. From the time that I decided I was going to volunteer in Kenya (one month ago), I promised myself that I was going to make a conscious to be a better person. To be genuinely nicer to people (not that fake smile act), and to just calm down overall. I've always done everything so fast in my life: ran fast, thought fast, walked fast, ate fast, succeeded or failed fast. I've realized that I just need to slow down and take time to observe. All of this thinking has caused me to become someone with a more clarified perception of who I was, who I am, and who I really want to be. I know that getting far away to a place I've never been to, such as Kenya, will change me for the better. I've grown up with many misconstrued perceptions of many different things that I am only beginning to shake off now: women, intelligence, religion, fun, people, emotions, and life in general. These are many, but not all, of my reasons for going to Kenya. I don't plan to be the "American Saviour" that will make all of the poor little black African's problems go away. I'm there to observe, understand, and offer whatever I have to give in terms of knowledge and what little life experience I have. I plan to see the deepest shade of black whether it be in the people I encounter or the lands that I see. I'm going to where the deepest shade of black resides.